Mistakes and Consequences

Ariel Gordon

AP English

Mr. Coon

(795)

Tillie Olsen’s “I stand here Ironing” starts off by describing a telephone conversation between the narrator and what is apparently a school counselor. The counselor tells the narrator that her daughter, Emily, is “a youngster who needs help” (637). Olsen, therefore, lets the reader know early on that this will be a short story that focuses on child development. Olsen also “gives the game away”, so to speak, by telling us at the beginning that the story does not end well. Thought the plot line is generally centered around the development of Emily, it is the narrator who is telling the story, and through her eyes, we see all of the work, decisions, and doubts involved in mothering.

A famous quote tells that “Noble children can come from wicked families, and wicked children can come from noble families.” This quote is meant to alleviate the helpless feeling of parents who wonder what went wrong in their wayward child’s childhood. However, a quote more fitting for the story “I Stand Here Ironing” would be something like “Well-adjusted children come from well-adjusted families, and irresponsible children come from irresponsible families.” We, as the readers, would like to give the narrator the benefit of the doubt, but as the story goes on, it becomes clearer and clearer that Emily’s development as a child has greatly affected her personality as an adult. Her irresponsible upbringing has turned Emily into an irresponsible 19-year old who may seem to be doing well on the surface, but has hidden, barely-visible issues underneath it all.

Her mother, for her part, has truly tried her hardest to do what is best for Emily, and has truly had almost insurmountable odds placed against her. The narrator’s first roadblock was that she herself was only 19 when she gave birth to Emily, an age which is far too young to handle a child at all, let alone without any help or guidance. Emily’s father had already left her, so this young, still-teenage girl had to take care of Emily all by her lonesome. With no husband and no mother to guide her, the narrator is forced to turn to books to find a proper way to raise a child. Even though her baby’s cries to nurse have “battered [her] to trembling,” she sticks with the book’s feeding guideline. Without a father or any additional support, the narrator is forced to work long hours to support herself and the baby. She knows instinctively that she should be spending as much time as possible with the baby, but she is unable to. A part time night job just does not provide enough of an income to live on, and she is forced to abandon her to first her family, then a nursery center, then a “convalescent home.” Each time the narrator comes to retrieve her daughter, she recognizes her less and less, but the narrator has no other path to turn to.

“And even without knowing, I knew.” This simple sentence says so much about the narrator’s feelings of guilt and shame about what she put her child through. She knew that the nursery school teacher was “evil,” she knew that the people who “persuaded her at the clinic” to send Emily to an institution were wrong, and she knew that her rejection and dismissal of Emily’s cries closed a door that could never again be opened. The narrator understands these things, and does not make the same mistakes again with her second child, Susan. However, her learning from these mistakes cannot repair the damage and constant upheaval that has been present throughout Emily’s life. The one “benefit” that Emily’s childhood has given her is the ability to act. Her talent for acting is no coincidence; she has been practicing her entire life. Emily has had to act happy, to act normal, all of the time. She has acted throughout her entire life in order to assure her mother that everything is ok. Her mother wants so much to believe Emily’s act, and at some moments she truly has hope that Emily will be ok. However, at other moments, it is apparent that Emily has been too greatly affected by her upbringing, and that no amount of acting can ultimately cover that up.

As a mother, with so many forces against her, all the narrator can do is try and hope. She can only hope that her mistakes as a mother will be overcome by her daughter’s spirit and ability to adapt. She can only try to iron out the wrinkles that she created in the fabric of Emily’s life, and hope that “[Emily] is more than this dress on the ironing board, helpless in the face of the iron” (642).